Monday, June 30, 2008

Mad Cow Disease

Why do they call that time before a woman's period PMS?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

The name Mad Cow Disease is definitely a more accurate descriptor of what I am feeling, though. I guess all of these *symptoms* were just the worst PMS I have ever had in my whole life. Why would Mother Nature choose to make the symptoms of PMS the *same* as the symptoms of early pregnancy? Why? It just doesn't seem right. Sore boobs, awful bloating, terrible mood swings... the whole meal deal. Which I normally don't get nearly so bad. And to top it off, I'm not even knocked up.

No, I have not started my period. I went for the bloodwork today, and the pregnancy test was negative. You know, I'm past due to start my period, and that would have been just as reliable an indicator of a negative. But of course, that would have been cheaper than bloodwork, and Mother Nature is still conspiring against me. I swear, she must have some sort of deal worked out with the doctors so she gets some sort of kickback for fucking with my life. Bitch.

So now I get to wait for the inevitable flood, schedule a CD3 Ultrasound and an HSG for me, and a semen analysis for Brad. Yay - an ultrasonic dildo and radioactive dye up the twat, and romance in a cup. What fun.

So here we go again. Ding ding, round 2. Clomid with intercourse. If his swimmers need help we'll switch it to Clomid with IUI.


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