Thursday, May 15, 2008

Trojan Man

Apparently, if I want to get pregnant, we need to use condoms. The nurse called today with the lab results. As I expected, I am not already pregnant, so I am all clear to start taking the Provera. Then the nurse informs me that I need to either abstain from making whoopie, or use a barrier contraceptive, during the time that I am on the Provera. Don't want to accidentally get pregnant while on the Provera, then stop taking it and have a miscarriage when my cycle starts. Abstinence is out of the question, so condoms it is. When the nurse called, I was in HEB, so I thought I would go ahead and get some condoms. I go to the condom aisle, and start looking, and get a little overwhelmed by so many choices. After all, indecision may or may not be my problem. Besides, we have been trying for 2.5 years, so needless to say, I have not purchased any condoms in quite a while. So I called Brad to tell him the news, and ask his opinion on what condoms to get. He says, "Well, I don't know. Here, talk to Michael, he uses those more often than I do." He then hands the phone to Michael, his son. So before I can stop it, and despite my protestations, I find myself discussing the merits of various condoms with my 18 year old step-son. It freaked me out. I wound up having to call my Mom for moral support. She thought it was effing hilarious, and had to share the humor with her husband. After I regained my composure, I picked a box of Trojan Her Pleasure - Warming Sensations, and a Trojan variety pack. Still having a hard time with that indecision thing. Then I go to check out, and as the line moves forward, I realize that the cashier is one of the senior girls from the high school that I see on a daily basis, but she has seen me, so I can't switch lines. Just as I get to the register, I look down and realize that one of the boxes of condoms is open. So I have to have the bagger go exchange it for me, because buying an open box of Trojans would not be prudent. Sort of like buying a sex toy at a garage sale. Just a bad idea all around. So I got the condoms home, but not without much drama. Oh well. My Trojan Man is worth it. And if it gets us a little trojan baby, that's even better.


Jen said...

I am laughing my ass off over here! And I thought that kind of stuff only happened to me!

I imagine I would be the same way - I haven't had to purchase condoms for so long. I would have no idea what to buy!!

Blogger Templates by 2007