Ultrasound Pics & Update

Okay, here's the pic from Ultrasound #2 (I don't have a copy for #1). The date was 12/24/2008, and I was 6w3d pregnant. The heart rate was 126 bpm, and the baby measured 5.9mm. The doctor neglected to mention that it was 5 days behind in size, but I'm kinda glad that we didn't find that out until the next appointment because it would have just stressed me out more. The big round thing in the middle of the sac is the yolk, and the little c-shaped thing off to the side of that is the baby.

Now here's the pic from Ultrasound #3. The date for that one was 1/2/2009, and I was 8w1d pregnant. The heart rate had gone up to 176 bpm, and the baby had grown to 15.2 mm. This time the baby's size was only off by 2 days, so it is catching up. The somewhat-c-shaped blur is the baby (no yolk is visible in these pics).

I did more labwork on 12/31/08, and my progesterone had gone up to 37.4. That was enough that at my appointment on 1/2/09, the doctor felt it was safe to take me off the progesterone supplements. Also, since the baby has been growing well, she was willing to release me to my regular OB/Gyn. So my next appointment is with my oh-so-fine OB on Monday 1/12/09, and I should have another ultrasound then. I'm glad to be done with the fertility clinic for a while. They did a great job, and did what they were supposed to do, but I'm glad to move on. Brad and I are pretty excited, and relieved that things seem to be picking up speed. Brad has been telling pretty much everybody he knows - even the bank teller! It's kinda cute. He's pretty much a typical male when it comes to (not) sharing his emotions, but I can tell he is excited about being a Dad (again). After all, it's been nearly twenty years since the last time he had an expecting wife. Anyway, I'm glad to be getting this show on the road finally.

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009!

So today is the start of a new year, and I am glad for it. So far, it is shaping up to be a better year than the last. Granted, I did get married last year, and that was awesome, but a good portion of the year sucked. I also managed to get pregnant toward the end, but the initial stages of that have been fraught with worry and fear of miscarriage. Only on Christmas Eve did I finally get some relief, in the form of a strong heartbeat on the ultrasound. The bulk of the year was spent doing infertility treatments that just made me sad and miserable. So to 2008: I'm glad to see you go.

2009 looks like it may be much better. If everything goes as planned, I should give birth to a healthy baby in August, which has the potential to make the whole year. I shouldn't have to do any fertility treatments this year, and that sounds really good, too. And, to top it off, I will get to be off work for two months before the baby is due, because of the way the school schedule works. Yay! for summer break. If I can just get through this next semester, it will all be okay. Before too long, I should be able to start buying baby stuff. 2009, I'm glad you're here.

A Much Merrier Christmas

Well, I just got back from my ultrasound, and we got to see the fetus and the heartbeat! The heartrate was 125. Everything was substantially bigger than last week, and it all looked good. I told the doctor that I did not want to do any more labs because it has just been pure torture, and he agreed. He said we would only do labs again if I had any spotting or problems. He said that the reason that he wasn't concerned about the drop in progesterone is because it was higher than normal last time, and now it is in a more normal range. He wants me to stay on the supplements once a day. I go for another ultrasound next Friday. He also said that I am at a higher risk for miscarriage because of the funky labs, but now that we have seen a heartbeat, the risk is substantially less. So, all in all, it is looking good, and I've got pictures to prove it. I will get them scanned and posted in a few days. Everybody have a good Christmas. I know I will now.

Crap Labs

Okay, I'm freaking out again. Today is CD34, or 6w6d. I got my labs drawn again today for beta #5. My hcg only went up to 7217 (from 1979) in 7 days. That's a doubling time of 90.54 hours. My last doubling time was only 52.69 hours. Also, my progesterone dropped from 58.9 to 30.6. That's lower than it has been at any point during this beta hell. Yet the doctor did not increase my Endometrin. My next ultrasound isn't until Wednesday, and I'm freaking out. I'm just so scared, and there's nothing I can do about it. I know that doubling times do slow down as things get further along, but they shouldn't slow down that much, and the progesterone drop really worries me. And people think the 2 week wait is bad. This is pure torture. I'll update again after the ultrasound.

First Ultrasound

Yesterday, I went in for my 4th beta, @ 27 DPO, and my numbers rose from 220 to 1979. My doubling time for this one was 52.69 hours. A little slower than the last one, but still within a fairly normal range. The numbers are still pretty low, but it may still work out. Today, I went in for my first ultrasound, at 6w0d. We were able to see a gestational sac and yolk sac, but no heartbeat yet. It was correctly placed in the uterus, NOT ectopic, so that's good. We also saw several huge ovarian cysts, which would account for the pain I've been having, and why I feel like I'm 3 months pregnant. The largest ones were on the right side, with the biggest measuring 72mm x 75mm. That's nearly 3 inches across! And there were more that were only a little smaller than that. Hopefully they will resolve soon. I go back for beta #5 on Monday 12/22, @ 34 DPO. Then I go for my next ultrasound on 12/24 @7w1d. Hopefully we will be able to see a heartbeat by then. Brad will get to go with me to that one, since it is on Christmas Eve and he is off that day. I also found out something odd that I didn't know. My Mom went with me to my appointment today, and when she was looking at their website to get directions, she saw the list of doctors in the office. Apparently, one of the other doctors (Dr. Vaughn) was the doctor who delivered me when I was born. Kinda weird, huh? And since my doctor will out of town next week, he will be the one doing my ultrasound. Mom's going to that one too, so she can say hi to him. I guess that's what they call full circle. Strange.

Getting Better

I went for my 3rd beta today, at 20DPO, and in 4 days, it went from 56 up to 220. My doubling time has gone down to 49.14 hours, from 66.68 hours on the last one. It looks like things are picking up speed. My doctor said to be cautiously optimistic. The numbers are still low, but at least they are doubling properly. Hopefully things will pick up even more. I go for another beta on Monday 12/15 at 27 DPO. Then I am scheduled for an ultrasound on 12/16, which will be 6wks exactly. Hopefully we will be able to see something by then.

First Two Betas

I had my first beta on Tuesday. My HCG was 34, Progesterone 43.0, and Estradiol 1130. The doctor's office said the HCG was a little low, but not too worrisome, and the others were fine. On Thursday, I had my second beta. It was much more worrisome. The progesterone was fine at 49.7, but the HCG only went up to 56, instead of at least doubling like it should have. My doctor's office said that the absolute, bare minimum increase would need to be 2/3, and it did go up by two thirds, exactly. My doubling time is currently 66.68 hours, where 48 hours or less is ideal.

So what all that means is that it's a crapshoot whether or not this pregnancy will survive or fail. It could go either way, but a miscarriage or ectopic is probably more likely. I go for another beta on Monday 12/8/08, and that will tell us more. Needless to say, I'm pretty bummed that things are so uncertain, and the waiting is killing me. It's way worse than the two week wait before you find out if you're pregnant. Then you're either pregnant or not, but no life hangs in the balance. Right now, I am pregnant, but the two possibilities are live baby or miscarriage, and that's harder to take. So until Monday, I'm going to lay around the house and eat copious amounts of very chocolatey ice cream, and nobody can stop me or even fault me for it.

Two Lines!

I'm scheduled to go for bloodwork tomorrow, and I swore I was not going to cheat and pee on a stick. However, at work today, the waiting was making me crazy, and the girls at work were like, "Why don't you just go pee on a stick?" So I folded. I have no self control. I went to Wal-Mart on my lunch break and bought pee sticks. I did one in the bathroom at work. There are two lines, people! I'm knocked up! Holy shit, Batman! I'm so excited! Of course, now everybody knows. I do realize that something could still go wrong, and that a positive pregnancy test does not necessarily equal a take-home baby, but this is the furthest we have ever gotten. It is a step in the right direction. So I will go for bloodwork tomorrow, and probably again on Thursday, then probably an ultrasound sometime in the next few weeks to check for the heartbeat(s).

New Tortures...

...Because the old tortures just weren't good enough. Yesterday, I was in the shower getting cleaned up for the IUI, when the doctor's office calls to ask me if I can come in for the IUI 15 minutes early. Now anybody who knows me understands that for me to get anywhere even *on time* takes an act of God. But I say OK, and make it there 15 minutes ahead of schedule, as requested. I walk in, sign in, use the restroom, and then sit down in the waiting room... for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes of waiting, my phone rings, and it is my nurse calling to ask if I am coming in for my IUI. I explain to her that I have been sitting in the waiting room for half an hour, and yes, I do still want an IUI. Apparently, the front desk girl forgot to let anybody know that I was there. Ughh!

So then I go back, and she does an ultrasound first, and says that it looks like I probably ovulated 3-5 eggs. All the while she is very sweet to me, probably because of the fact that the waiting room incident pissed me off so bad that I looked like I was going to eat her for lunch. Then she does the IUI, and explains about the newest form of torture they have devised for me. I thought that the next two weeks I would get off scot-free. I was actually looking forward to the 2ww. But no, it can't be that easy. Since I started my period early last cycle, starting on Friday I get to do progesterone suppositories every night when I go to bed. Yuck. That grosses me out worse than the Follistim shots every day. But I really didn't wan't to do the progesterone-in-oil shots either, so I didn't argue. But it won't keep me from whining about the ickyness of vaginal suppositories, either. Blech! I go for a pregnancy test on December 2. Maybe we'll get lucky this time. But hopefully not too lucky. One or two would really make me happy. But I will take what I can get, and go from there.

Cycle Update

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Things have been kind of hectic, what with doctors visits every three days. So here is the condensed version of the latest visits. On Monday, 11/10, I went back for another follicle check, and I was still showing 18 follicles: Right - 12,10,8,7,7,7,6,6,5,5,5mm Left - 9,9,8,7,6,5,5mm Endo - 12.6. When the E2 came back from the lab however, it had fallen from 68 to 48, so she raised my Follistim dosage for the next three days up to 150, 100, 100 units.

When I went back on Thursday, 11/13, she just measured the three largest follicles on each side. It kind of pissed me off, because she rushed in and out like she had somewhere else to be, and I didn't get to ask the questions that I had. So the measurements for that day: R - 14,10,7mm L - 13,9,9mm Endo 11.1. My Estradiol had risen to 262, so that was good, and my dosage for the next three days was 150,150,150.

Today, I went back for another check. On the right ovary she measured follicles at 21,14,14,10,9mm. On the left, she measured follicles at 18.5,14,11,10,10,9mm. Endo was at 11.6. Not sure about E2. They'll probably call with that tomorrow. She had me trigger with ovidrel at 5:30 this evening. The IUI will be on Tuesday morning. She said that anything at or over 14mm can release a mature egg, so we're probably looking at 4-5 eggs released... hopefully. Yet again, when I tried to ask questions, she was a little snippy with me, and acted like I was an idiot for questioning her. Sorry, but IMO, anybody who *doesn't* ask questions of their doctor is an idiot. Next time, if she's short with me, we'll have a come-to-Jesus-meeting and I'll let her know exactly what I think. Maybe she just has PMS. She hasn't been like this before this week, but if it continues, I *will* come unglued on her. Oh well. I guess I will wait and see.

Let's Party Anyway

On Friday 11/7, I got up at the butt crack of dawn and drove to Austin for bloodwork and an ultrasound. I had the labs drawn at about 7:00am and the ultrasound at about 7:45. It was CD7. My endometrium was at 11.0. My left ovary had 6 follicles that measured 8,7,7,6,5,5mm. And it was the underperformer. My right ovary was being the overachiever again, and had 12 follicles that measured 7,7,7,6,6,6,6,6,6,5,5,5mm. That's a total of 18 follicles that she measured! And I think there may have been a few hiding, as well. And this was with me on a very low dosage of follistim (75, 75, & 50 for the first three days). Can you imagine if she had put me on a standard dosage? Later on, they called with the lab results, and said that my E2 was at 68. I don't know if that is high or low or what, but I am going to verify that number when I talk to them again. I was in a class full of yelling kids when they called, so I could have heard wrong. The dosages they gave me for Fri - Sun were 75,75,50 again. I go in again tomorrow morning for more labs and an ultrasound. I wonder what things will look like then. I have gotten pretty good at this whole injecting myself thing. I did it in the truck in the parking lot of the Golden Wok restaurant last night right before dinner. Easy as pie.

Yesterday Brad and I went to a wedding for a mutual friend of ours. We had a lot of friends there, and it was nice getting to visit with them all. And Brad looks really sexy when he's all dressed up. So I had an ulterior motive for wanting to go. But it was nice. Then we went to JC Penneys and returned most of the clothes I had bought the other day. I have decided that I will stay at my job with the school for the time being. Mostly because the insurance is paying for more than I thought it would, and the leave policy is more generous than most places offer. The pay still sucks, and I am still miserable, but I will put up with it for now. If I stick with it, I will have the summer off, and if I get pregnant this cycle, the baby(ies) would be due in August sometime. That would give me the last couple months of a pregnancy off, which would be really nice, especially if there are any complications. But, usually, planning just screws shit up, so I'd better just stop now while I'm ahead. So that's all for now. I will update more tomorrow after I the doctor's appt and lab work. Now I'm off to eat left-over dim sum. Yum.

Go Wild and Have a Party

Today I went to the doctor for a baseline ultrasound and an injection lesson. For the ultrasound, they had one of the junior doctors do it, with the guidance of my regular doctor. Her technique was kind of weird, and so it was hard to see what was going on. My regular doctor is very predictable, and does it the same every time, so it's always easy to tell what you're looking at. My left ovary had a bunch of antral follicles, but because of the jumbo one on my right last time, there wasn't much going on on the right side this time. The right ovary really looked more like a gray pile of mush to me. So the left will likely be the star performer this time, but who knows, since I haven't started stims yet. I start stims tonight. I'll be using the Follistim Pen. I will do 75IU for two days, then 50IU for one day, then on Friday I will go in for E2 levels, and another ultrasound so they can tell what dosage to give me for Friday and the weekend. I knew that because of the PCOS, the doctor would want to be careful on the dosing, but this morning the exact words that came out of her mouth were, "We're going to take this slow, and go with a low dosage, because you're 25, and your ovaries are scary. We don't want them to go wild and have a party." She has often remarked that I have enough antral follicles to supply the entire office.

After the ultrasound I got an injection lesson, where I practiced injecting a lump of fat-like material. It was easy, but pretty gross. On the first try, I forgot to quit pinching the "fat" before I pulled the needle out, and the fake meds squirted out of the "fat" all the way across the room, out the door, and across the hall. The nurse and I laughed until we cried. It was so hilarious. The Follistim Pen seems fairly easy to use. I don't forsee any problems. The pharmacy that the meds came from was the Apothecary Shop in Phoenix, AZ. The meds were packaged well, and arrived exactly when they said they would, and there was no charge for the overnight shipping, sharps container, or alcohol pads. The only charges were my insurance copays for the actual drugs. They were fast and friendly when I talked to them on the phone, and I would highly recommend them to anyone else.

Well, I'm off to watch election coverage. I voted last week, and I am anxious for all of this election crap to be done with. If you haven't voted, do so. There's still a little time, depending on your location.

Or Just False Hope

So later on Saturday afternoon, I realized that the possible progress was really just false hope. After the initial bit of spotting, I started my period Saturday evening, a full 5-7 days early. Blech. How's that for ruining my weekend? So much for that cycle. Today is CD3. Tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound and an injection lesson. This round, we are moving on to the big guns, since I found out insurance will cover the injectables. The RE's office got the prior authorization from the insurance, faxed the order to the pharmacy, and the drugs should be on my doorstep tomorrow, to the tune of $115 for the cycle. Not too bad, considering it's only $65 more than last month. Hopefully I can get knocked up this time, but not wind up with a litter. And hopefully, I don't wind up with so many follicles that they cancel the cycle. We'll see

Possible Progress

Since there was some ambiguity as to whether the black hole on my right ovary was actually a follicle or a cyst, my RE wanted me to go in for bloodwork 7DPO to check my progesterone levels, to confirm that I did truly ovulate. That way I would know whether I had thrown away $400 on an IUI the week before. So on Thursday, 10/30/08, I had the labs drawn. They didn't call with the results until the next day, which really pissed me off. But I got the results, and they said I did ovulate last week. So that was good. Now, for TMI. Yesterday evening, when I went to the restroom, I noticed just a little bit of red spotting. Late last night, it was just a very little brown, old blood. This morning, nothing. At 8DPO, that could be implantation, right? A little spotting at the right time is the furthest we've ever gotten. It could be possible progress. I know I'm just getting my hopes up, but it's really hard not to, when so far to date, we've got nothing. It just makes the waiting harder.

Here's a pretty picture of an Austin sunrise- I'll admit, I stole it, but here's the link to the owner's flickr page. I couldn't resist.

Get In, Get Out, Quit F*&%ing About

I had my IUI this morning. It was probably the quickest appointment ever. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am indeed. Hopefully it will produce the desired results (a baybee, in case you hadn't been listening).

I also called my insurance company and found out that they will cover injectable fertility drugs (if the current cycle doesn't pan out). It just requires prior authorization, and that I not be using them in preparation for or in conjunction with an IUI or IVF. Basically, the dumbass insurance company wants to pay for these drugs that will make you ovulate eight eggs, and then they want you to go home and make nookie with your husband so you wind up with a litter. God forbid that they cough up the money to do an IUI to increase the probability of the expensive-ass drugs working on the first round. Or even better, that they ante up the money to do IVF so that you can have a healthy singleton or twin pregnancy, rather than a God-awful expensive set of sickly sextuplets. It's all about the profit NOW, not what's best in the long run. But, if they will pay for the meds, then I will have the doctor fail to mention that I will be having an IUI, since I pay for those out of pocket anyway, and I will go ahead and get them. I'm not saying this cycle won't work; I'm just planning ahead. 

Tomorrow I have a conference to go to at the Texas School for the Blind for work. At least I don't have to do any real work tomorrow. And it will be Friday. And I just realized that even though when I get out of the conference it will be five o'clock somewhere, for the next two weeks, and maybe longer, I will be pregnant until proven otherwise. Arrrrgggghhhh.